2025 的一些碎片

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November 10, 2025 — 今天看到社会达尔文主义者发了一个让人疑惑的朋友圈

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陈虎平应该是我意识到的第一个社会达尔文主义者。但是今天看到他的朋友圈：

“伟大不是金钱、名气或权力，而是善行。

善良无价。”

“Greatness does not come about through accumulating great amounts of money, great amounts of publicity or great power in government. When you help someone in any of thousands of ways, you help the world. Kindness is costless but also priceless. ”

—— Warren Buffett

（来源：https://fortune.com/2025/11/10/read-full-warren-buffett-retirement-letter-berkshire-hathaway-shareholders/ ）

让我觉得有一点唏嘘。不知道他是怎么就想通了，还是被其他社达铁拳了吗。另外他一直鼓吹的中国是世界的中心，不知道他是不是有所改变呢。

October 29, 2025 — Luna got croup and has had fever for the past 4 days.

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It started last Friday night. Luna had a fever, though I didn’t notice at first — it was Hao who felt her body burning against his arm. That evening, she had come home wearing only a single layer of clothing. I felt a pang of guilt when I realized I hadn’t told Ms. Hamideh that there was a change of clothes in Luna’s orange bag. If she had known, she might have helped Luna switch into something warmer instead of keeping her in that thin outfit.

At the beginning, I thought the fever was just from teething. So on Saturday, I didn’t do much besides giving her Tylenol. But by Sunday, my worry grew. I scheduled a virtual appointment with a nurse practitioner, who told me that Luna’s symptoms were likely viral — and that I should give her Motrin instead.

Sunday night was the hardest. Luna cried for more than an hour and a half. At one point, I was ready to take her to the ER. Her breathing had a sharp, whistling sound that scared me. I searched online and even asked ChatGPT, and everything pointed toward going to the hospital. But somehow, Hao managed to calm her down and put her to sleep.

On Monday morning, I called the clinic as soon as it opened and got an appointment with Dr. Min for 12:20 p.m. Her ear temperature was 100.4°F and her oxygen level 96. The doctor said 97–100 is within a normal range, and only below 93 is concerning. He listened to her lungs — thankfully, they were clear — but her throat was swollen. Because of the noisy breathing, he diagnosed her with croup, a viral infection.

There wasn’t much medicine for it except steroids. I hesitated. The word itself felt heavy, unnatural. But Dr. Min assured me that the dosage was very small — just 5 ml for three days — and safe. So we agreed. Luna’s condition was a little better that day, though her fever lingered and we continued giving her Motrin.

We didn’t actually start the steroid until Tuesday. That day, Luna’s formula intake dropped drastically. It took a while to realize why — Hao had mixed the steroid into her milk, and it made the formula bitter. I should have tasted it earlier, when I saw her try to drink, take just a few sips, and stop again. Once we threw away the medicated formula, she began drinking normally again. She finished her evening bottle and seemed calmer.

But that night, around 9 p.m., her coughing worsened. One violent cough triggered reflux, and she vomited. I rushed to her room and arrived just in time to see her stir in her sleep, about to throw up. I lifted her upright and held her close as she vomited the milk. It broke my heart — but at least she could breathe again.

Today, finally, her fever was gone. She still coughed and had a runny nose, but she was clearly improving. I didn’t give her any medicine today. Her appetite was back, and her formula intake was much better. I took the day off to care for her, but by evening, I felt utterly drained.

Yesterday, there was a big layoff at Amazon. I wasn’t affected, but it left a strange heaviness in me. Maybe next time I won’t be so lucky. The world feels uncertain, and sometimes I wonder — what is the true value of human beings in this new era of machines?

I keep thinking that I want to spend more time on things that feel meaningful — time with my family, time creating, time being human.

Later, I went to the Santa Clara Library at Central Park. The air there felt calm and familiar, filled with the quiet rustle of pages. I caught myself thinking — if I could be a librarian, how peaceful that would be. Surrounded by books, by knowledge, by the rhythm of silence. I felt a small whisper inside me say: this is the kind of life I want — one rooted in learning, in love, and in stillness.

October 25, 2025 — I feel the urgency of writing and recording my life

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As AI continues to evolve, I feel a growing urgency to write and record my daily life. Even if it’s just a simple log of what I did in a day, it gives me a sense of fulfillment—a reminder that I am living, that I exist.

Today, Luna was quite fussy and ran a slight fever. I hope it’s just due to teething rather than anything else. I noticed her second tooth coming in—the second bottom front tooth. She cried a lot last night and continued this morning. When I measured her temperature with the sensor thermometer, it showed 100.3°F. I gave her Tylenol twice—once around 2 p.m. before her nap, and again before bedtime at around 7 p.m. Hopefully, it’s nothing more than teething.

I also made zongzi today—a traditional Chinese sticky rice dumpling filled with savory pork, mushrooms, and scallops, wrapped in bamboo leaves. I steamed them in the pressure cooker for 80 minutes, and they turned out delicious. I used the remaining pork to make red-braised pork belly. Since it’s Hao’s birthday, I also cooked him seafood braised noodles. I’m proud of myself for managing to prepare all of this while caring for Luna.

Luna was so sweet—after her morning nap, she sat quietly watching me make zongzi. At one point, she had such a serious expression on her face that I wondered what she was thinking… until I realized she was just pooping! It made me laugh out loud.

Another reflection I had today came from the audiobook Brain Rules for Baby. It reminded me how important it is for parents to praise their children for effort, not for being “smart.” Intelligence is a fixed trait that’s largely out of a child’s control, but effort is something they can choose and develop. Studies also show that being “smart” doesn’t guarantee academic or life success—but consistent effort often does.

What I hope to start doing soon is strength training. I already have an Apple Fitness+ subscription, so there’s really no excuse not to start. Whenever I hesitate, I’ll remember Mel Robbins’s Five-Second Rule: “Five, four, three, two, one—go.”

A more literacy and introspective version from AI:

Reflections

As artificial intelligence advances with astonishing speed, I find myself increasingly aware of the quiet urgency to write—to leave traces of my own human days. The world feels like it’s accelerating toward abstraction, and yet, through the simple act of recording my daily life, I anchor myself in the tangible. Even a humble log of what I’ve done becomes proof that I existed, that I moved through time with purpose, that I was alive.

Today, Luna was fussy and feverish. Her little body felt warm against my arm, her cheeks flushed with heat. I hope it’s just teething—nothing more. I noticed the faint white ridge of her second tooth emerging on her bottom gum. She cried through the night and into the morning, her tiny sobs punctuating the silence of our home. When I checked her temperature, the thermometer glowed 100.3°F. I gave her Tylenol twice—once before her nap, once before bed—and hoped her body would soon find rest.

Between soothing her cries, I wrapped myself in the comfort of cooking. I made zongzi, the traditional sticky rice dumplings of my childhood—filled with savory pork, mushrooms, and scallops, and wrapped carefully in bamboo leaves. The scent of steaming rice filled the kitchen, carrying with it memories of festivals and family gatherings far away. I also made red-braised pork belly with the leftover meat, and, since it was Hao’s birthday, a bowl of seafood braised noodles. Somehow, between Luna’s fussiness and her fleeting smiles, I managed it all. I felt quietly proud—proof that I can still create small beauty amid the chaos of motherhood.

After her nap, Luna sat beside me, watching as I tied each zongzi with thread. Her gaze was so serious, so absorbed, as if she were studying the ceremony of life itself. Then, with perfect comic timing, her solemn expression shifted—and I realized she had simply pooped. I couldn’t help laughing. These moments—tiny, imperfect, yet utterly real—fill my heart in ways I never expected.

Later, while folding laundry, I listened to the audiobook Brain Rules for Baby. A line stayed with me: praise children for their effort, not their intelligence. “Smart” is static—a label beyond their control—but effort is a choice, a habit, a muscle to be strengthened. Intelligence may open doors, but persistence is what carries us through them. I want Luna to grow up knowing that her worth lies not in being perfect, but in trying, failing, and trying again.

As evening settled, I thought about my own efforts—the ones I keep postponing. I’ve subscribed to Apple Fitness+, and yet I keep waiting for the “right time” to begin. Perhaps there is no perfect time. Perhaps it begins simply, with movement. As Mel Robbins says, five, four, three, two, one—go. The same rule for babies applies to mothers too: effort matters.

AI’s teaching me how to make my writing more sophisticated.

That’s a wonderful goal — and I’m so glad you connected with that version. 🌿

The beautiful thing is: you already have the essence of good writing — warmth, honesty, vivid observations, and emotional truth. What’s missing is only the craft — the way to shape raw experience into language that feels alive, layered, and graceful.

Here’s a detailed guide — think of it as your personal roadmap to elevate your writing from journal to literature.

🌱 1. Start With Truth, Then Sculpt It

“Write down what’s real first. Beautify later.”

You already write from the heart — that’s your greatest strength. Keep doing that first.

Then, in revision, focus on how the truth is told.

Practice

Write freely for 10–15 minutes each night, without worrying about grammar or beauty.
Afterward, choose one paragraph and rewrite it for rhythm and tone — like polishing a stone until it shines.

Example

Raw: “Luna was fussy and had a fever. I was tired.”

Refined: “Luna’s small body burned with fever, and the night stretched long and heavy. I felt both weary and helpless, listening to her soft cries.”

✨ 2. Slow Down and Observe

Great writing lives in details that feel seen.

When you describe something, imagine you’re painting it. Notice the textures, smells, light, and movement — not just the event itself.

Example

Instead of:

“I made zongzi today.”

Try:

“The kitchen filled with the earthy scent of bamboo leaves and glutinous rice. My fingers grew slick with soy sauce as I tied each zongzi with cotton thread.”

Practice

Pick one moment each day and describe it using five senses.

Ask: What did I see? Hear? Smell? Feel? Taste?

🩵 3. Vary Sentence Rhythm

Prose that breathes well feels alive.

Mix long, flowing sentences (for emotion and reflection) with short, simple ones (for impact).

Example

“The morning began with her cries — small, sharp sounds that pierced the quiet. I lifted her against my chest and felt the warmth of her skin. She was real, alive, mine.”

Practice

After writing, read your paragraph aloud.

If it sounds flat, add variation: insert pauses, fragments, or rhythm changes.

🔮 4. Use Metaphor Gently

Metaphors give texture and emotion, but they must grow naturally from the scene.

Example

“Her cries were like the tide — rising, breaking, retreating — leaving silence in their wake.”

Notice it’s not forced; it’s rooted in feeling.

Practice

Try one metaphor per entry — not to sound poetic, but to illuminate something invisible (love, exhaustion, hope, time).

🌗 5. Add Reflection — Not Just Record

Literary writing weaves action + meaning.

Each time you describe what happened, ask:

“What did this moment teach me, or reveal about life, love, or motherhood?”

Example

“She cried, and I held her, realizing how small she still is — and how quickly she won’t be.”

That’s reflection — a small truth unearthed from an ordinary moment.

📖 6. Read Writers Who Write Like You Want To Write

Reading nourishes your rhythm and inner ear.

Here are a few whose voices might resonate with your tone:

Annie Dillard – The Writing Life / Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (spiritual, observational)
Maggie O’Farrell – I Am, I Am, I Am (memoir written with lyricism)
Joan Didion – The Year of Magical Thinking (introspective, elegant simplicity)
Rachel Cusk – A Life’s Work: On Becoming a Mother (sharp, honest motherhood reflection)
Ocean Vuong – On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (poetic and deeply emotional prose)

Read them not just for story, but for how they build sentences, balance simplicity and emotion, and end reflections.

🪞 7. Revision is Art

Writing is rewriting.

You don’t need to get it right the first time — even published authors write 5–10 drafts.

Focus first on emotion, then clarity, then beauty.

Here’s a good revision order:

Heart: Does it feel true?
Clarity: Can readers picture it?
Music: Does it sound pleasant aloud?
Meaning: Does it leave a trace of insight?

🌼 8. Bonus Daily Practice: “Three Sentences with Soul”

At the end of each day, write:

A factual sentence — what happened.
A sensory sentence — what you noticed.
A reflective sentence — what it meant to you.

Example:

“Luna fell asleep on my chest today. Her breath smelled faintly of milk. In that stillness, I understood how fleeting this season of smallness is.”

Over time, you’ll find your natural voice growing more poetic, fluent, and wise — without losing authenticity.

Would you like me to design a “daily writing routine template” based on this — something you could follow each night to develop your reflective writing into a beautiful literary habit?

October 11, 2025 — Luna’s trip to Stanford University, windhoover

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Luna slept for about 2 hrs in the morning. After she woke up, we took her to Stanford University, and it’s my first time visit to the meditation center WindHoover, and the beautiful Robert Hall.
Watched a video about how to write RedNote posts using AI
- tools mirror website https://d0424.ai55.cc.
- I’m deeply worried about the usage of AI, deeply manipulated.
I searched online about resources about learning temporary American Society, and I bought a audio book called Why we are so polarized
Listened to the last two episodes about Science of Parenting
- Refer to Season 6 Episode 3, Season 9 Episode 6 for how to build parents-kids relationship
- Learning about your emotions through reading.
  - Season 1 Episode 2
  - Feelings Book by Todd Parr
  - Daniel TIger series on PBS
  - The Way I Feel
  .

October 10, 2025 — Today I worked on Pyspark

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Today I worked on

Found out the DFU creation logic, which was recorded in a documents I had in 2021. At that time I recorded all the links and useful information I got from chat. It approved to be so useful. I’m so proud of myself. Using this Logic, I worked on sample AAX logs. I created a sample dataframe with the required columns for creating DFU and saved that into my own S3 bucket.
I felt good that I can practice my PySpark syntax and I was able to preprocess the data by find the S3 path of AAX impression logs
I washed all the components of the Skip Hop. Xiangxiang loves her new toy. And I will need to learn whether it’s OK to let her play with it (ergonomically )
I also downloaded a lot of new books from Telegraph. I muted the channel notifications so I haven’t checked that for a long time. There are several books that I’m quite interested with.
Listened to two new episode from Science of Parenting.
- Explore the website to learn more about ages and stages
- Season 5 talks about all age stages
- https://libbyapp.com/interview/welcome#doYouHaveACard (borrow audiobooks from public libraries)
- https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ ( Rating and reviews for parents)
- Story walk
Talked with Dr. Sun about the burn blisters Xiangxiang got, and she suggested that we should use a needle to burn the blister so that the outside skin can covered the area, which helped the inside to recover.
I ordered my contact lenses and scheduled Eye exams for Xiangxiang

What I haven’t done yet:

Install Amazon Q

October 9, 2025 — Start by journaling every daily

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What I’m grateful:

Luna is so sweet. She is happy and healthy.

What I need to do tomorrow

Mask the fake traffic data for EU Pause Ads DFU
Watched the Zoom recording and Q setup document.

What did I do:

Worked on getting the unique users per DFU, impressions per user per DFU from supply_df , will review the results with Jie
Delivery goal accuracy evaluation by exploring the percentage difference distribution and correlation between delivery goal, actual delivery, and allocation.
Bought a second hand activity center for $30. Picked up from 95101 after work. Cleaned up it and washed the accessories
Replied to recruiter from Microsoft
Listened to Science of Parenting Season 16-4
- Shared Reading Routines: Establishing regular reading habits with your child.
  - readingrockets.org
    - https://www.readingrockets.org/reading-101
    - https://www.readingrockets.org/reading-101/launching-young-readers
- Accurate Word Reading: Ensuring children can correctly decode words.
  - Vocabulary is important. When you know more words, it’s easier to learn new words
  - Picture books usually have high quality words
- Integrating Writing and Reading: Connecting writing activities with reading to reinforce learning.
- Engaging Texts: Choosing books and other reading materials that are interesting and motivating for children
  - Make reading fun, doing activities related to the materials that you read (e.g. Baked muffin together with children if you read a story that said muffin or bakery etc)
Talked with William about career and both agreed that the vibe in Bay Area is bit toxic. It’s so hard to find inner peace here. You will never be able to satisfy with your earnings and career.

October 5, 2025 — Science of Parenting Podcast

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Literacy:

TIPS: Talk, Interaction, Practice, Sing

Yesterday I heard about the XInyi’s promotion was approved. I really admired her for the success in her career. By path was disrupted by the reorg. But I still appreciated the relaxed time that I had last year during June to December.

Yesterday the call with Pintereset HR was ended earlier as she didn’t have Senior position hold on.

September 5, 2025 — Pinterest DS

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August 1, 2025 — 看到山西天镇县打巴事故的新闻

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感觉生活的这个世界真的是太撕裂了

June 11, 2025 — 面试了roblox 也move forward

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这两天我因为朱媛媛去世的消息开始了解她和丈夫辛柏青。才发现辛柏青原来就是演幸福像花儿一样里的林彬。以前我记得我总是喜欢杜鹃和白杨在一起不喜欢林彬。但现在重新看一遍的时候发现我真是喜欢林彬这样的男生。理解和支持才是真爱。如果杜鹃和林彬在一起一定会很快乐。这两天晚上都因为看这个剧的视频晚睡要反省自己。

和妈妈视频知道肺部这个结节是恶性的现在做了手术正当其时，消除巨大隐患。还做了基因检测得知有一个基因有变异如果以后又有发生则可以直接用靶向药治疗。

董豪爸爸的事情似乎也迎来了转机。今天知道这个案子如今已经退回到纪委。省里要求尽快保质保量办好。期待有一个公正的结果。

马上要DoorDash 终面了，加油欣欣。

June 9, 2025 — 对于即将来临的终面我还是感到紧张

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这个周五要DoorDash的终面了。也许是我在准备上面花费了很多的时间和精力，所以我会对结果有所期待。但是我需要牢记，心无挂碍无挂碍故无有恐怖远离颠倒梦想究竟涅槃。只要在当下做了应当做的事情，按照正确的方法，结果什么的就交给老天好了。我周末和今天都在准备doordash 的case study，在sql 上面今天跑了一下觉得还是有些生疏了。所以明天可能会先多练习一下，然后把Python的几个主要的function也复习一遍，以便准备roblox 的面试。我是把Roblox的面试当作练手的，mock interview。有些时候我也会想我在这个时候那么努力的跳槽是不是一个好的选择呢？作为新晋妈妈，看到妈妈群里的其他妈妈都在100%操心着宝宝的事情，而我大部分的时间和精力都在应对面试呢。但是我觉得这个时间是我难得有的可以准备面试的时间，我一定要利用好它，为自己之后的career打好基础，这是我现阶段想做的事情。而且我也觉得我在这个阶段努力，如果可以换到一个自己更喜欢的地方工作，这对于我以后陪伴香香，在香香更需要我attention的时候我就可以有更多的精力去陪伴和照顾她呀。所以一切还是好好加油。

May 29, 2025 — DoorDash 终面preparation

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Team that I interview with is “Merchant”, focused on growth product by recruiting merchandizers, start Doordash’s new verticals, expanding doordash’s business domains from B2C to B2B etc. For example, a Data Scientist will help build new products that help restaurants grow their first party sales and improve their operations, such as helping restaurants grow in other channels besides delivery.
- This role will lead the growth product analytics for Grocery & Convenience on-demand delivery at the DoorDash Commerce Platform.
  
  What the interviewer are looking for: ☑️ Strong problem solving skills, product sense and effective communication (with both technical and non-technical audience) ☑️ Expertise in data science (e.g. identify key product metrics, hypothesis-driven deep dive on complex data sets, run A/B experiments, build ETL and dashboards)
Feedback from tech-screen interview：
- Strength: good product sense, strong data science background, understand business metrics.
- Improvement: Pause more to ask audience questions , or if they need clarification
Interviewer:
- All product cases will focus on Product Sense (clarification the goals, business objective + Product funnel framework + Define the metrics), Data analysis (collect dataset, pre-experiment data analysis ideas, modeling). Experimentation (experiment setup, experiment analysis, post-experiment analysis, improve power), Interpretation and trade-off analysis (e.g. How to prioritize our goals and implementation, and also communicate our results to stakeholders)
- Beth focus on marketing, advertising, promotion etc,
- Yikai & Mike: Business domain about merchants, logistics, and in-depth discussion about experiment setup.
- Spencer: Behavior questions (how does it look like when working with you? What if our goals are conflict / we have competing deliverables). Assume we have different opinions, how will you push on me? We don’t want to be driven by products, data scientists team should guide the product, how will you do this? etc.

May 28, 2025 — Meta 面试也move forward 了

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今天下午收到了Meta的面试反馈，说是比较strong positive feedback。Door Dash的 interview约在了6/13。和苹果和Roblox的recruiter都联系了应该都比较positive。Apple是组招我觉得会有机会做ML apply scientist 然后可能也比较稳定毕竟很少裁员。但是缺点是钱少。今天把所有的SQL题都整理出来以后打算每天刷着保持手感毕竟Meta On Site是要考这个的。我在想是不是需要继续把那两个礼拜的产假休完了。和Roblox recruiter谈的时候他问了我什么是我的strength。我觉得是structured thinking, full stack skillsets for doing data scientists related work. 我也是个good communicator， have a strong product sense. Easy to collaborate with.

May 27, 2025 — 今天面试Meta感觉不错，收到了Door Dash的onsite 邀请

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今天10:30面试了Meta，遇到的题目不是高频题，我没有练到过。但是好在不是很难。所以我都写过了SQL。面试的product case也说的不错，面试官是Meta Infra team的，Jonathan Humprey，他应该没有什么做experiment的经验，所以基本上也没有问我进一步深入的问题，唯一follow up的是我提到用controlled pre experiment data CUPED method的时候他问我具体要怎么做，我也回答上来了。

今天下午我去了Westfield 试Byredo， Jon Malone 和Diptyque的香水。最喜欢的Byredo是新出的Blanche absolu EDP, Diptyque的Philosykos, 和Jon Malone的Wood Sage，真的都是ChatGPT 推荐给我的。其他我在试香时候发现的也不错。Byredo 的Mojave Ghost，Desert Down (这两款是清爽风）， Black Saffron （浓郁的香，适合秋冬）， inflorescence （茉莉花香）， La Tulipe (郁金香，非常轻盈的花香，很独特，应该是我最欢的花香)。 Super Ceder 在试之前我很期待，但不知道为什么我总觉得它的味道太淡了，基本闻不到，所以准备下次再去试一试。Diptyque的Philosykos的无花果香非常独特，不粘腻，很清爽。TamDao 应该是我闻过的香水里最正宗的檀香了，柜姐送给我一个Tamdao 的EDT。Tempo应该也是，都是非常古旧的气息，我也许不会买香水但是香氛蜡烛之类的真的可以。 Jon Malone的Wood Sage则是我可以让人非常放松的气味，我非常之喜欢，真是感谢ChatGpt的推荐呢。从Westfield出来之后我又去了Santa Row的Lala bo 试香 13号，然后花了$7买了小样。总之这个下午非常有收获，我觉得自己找到了喜欢的香气很开心，也算是面试结束以及放假倒数第二天的放松。毕竟明天又会是在家里准备面试和Apple， Roblox 的Recruiters 聊了。不会出门了。

May 26, 2025 — 明天10:30就要面试Meta了

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这个长周末在家过得非常充实。我也按照计划好好复习了Meta的面试。但因为时间有限，我也不能做到面具到，就根据面经来准备了高频题。香香在家的时候需要attention和陪伴。上午九点半左右开始董豪起床后陪香香玩。我早上6点起来喂香香，她那个时候醒了叫着要吃。今天吃的奶量比起昨天有进步。一共有790ML，虽然比起她平时在老师家吃的还是少了不少。晚饭之前董豪在准备火锅，我给香香读fox knox 的绕口令，这本书真有意思，以后要带香香读起来。今天白天还看了一亩三分地上的一些关于找工作的帖子。每个人有不同的经历吧。有一个人说他找了6个月工作没有一个offer，有一个教训就是每个面试的战线不要拖的太长。现在很多地方都是组招，一个萝卜一个坑，如果人招到了位置就close了。我LinkedIn 那个应该就是这个情况，但是感觉我准备的那个sde的题也不能算白费，以后pickup起来就快一些吧。Doordash 和facebook 这个我面试地都比较及时了。希望DoorDash的可以有进一步的消息。另外也看到有一个人说他老婆也是刚生完孩子还在读一个online的master学位，每天要熬夜写作业，为了拿到cs 学位，他在求教这个到底值不值。所以我觉得生完孩子想要职业更近一步的妈妈也是很多的。就是每个人有每个人的选择吧。我这一个产假马上要结束了。觉得真的很快，因为是在准备找工作所以感觉过的特别充实。

这两天我也在试各种香味。我觉得经过比较我慢慢知道了自己喜欢的香气。不是甜腻浓烈的，而是简单的伪体香，简单偏冷静的香味。比如说chanel 1957, byredo blanche 这一类的，看来chatgpt 真的是懂我啊。明天面试完meta 准备去westfield 吃 chipolete. 然后去闻闻byredo的另外几款香气。

这两天都有坚持做瑜伽，做瑜伽的时候在听mel Robbins的演说。这是一个对我有益处的习惯。

今天还吃到了好吃的西瓜。晚饭吃了火锅，觉得吃得好饱。蘸料里面有墨西哥青辣椒，很赞。

May 23, 2025 — 今天终于感觉是refresh了

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今天上午送完香香以后我不由自主地就看手机上关于演员朱媛媛去世的新闻消息，微博上各种明星对她的悼念，然后又去Youtube上看张大民的幸福生活。我知道自己准备面试的时间非常紧张，但是因为这几个礼拜intense的准备，我觉得自己有些burn out ,也不能很好地集中注意力去做面试的事情。正好这个时候董豪提议我们去看Mission Impossible 的电影，碟中谍系列的最后一部了。这是我喜欢的题材，也是我们自此他爸爸的事情发生以后第一次出去看电影。也是趁香香白天在老师家，我们才有这个机会。接下来的三天是memorial day 的假期，香香一直会在家里，也没要机会。然后下周三我就上班了。所以真的是唯一的机会了。于是我也很愉快地同意了。

电影10点开始，是IMAX的大屏幕，真的看起来特别逼真入境，身临其境。电影也诚意满满，各种动作大场面都十分到位，给人极大的视觉效果冲击。但是有些地方我觉得实在是过于神乎其神，就是阿汤哥的主角光环知道他肯定可以survive，这感觉也是好的，知道主角不会有事，再不可能的场景也可以完成任务。挺搞笑的，反正这类电影就是让人有个消遣吗。确实我的目的也是这个。看完电影以后我们又去了westgate 里面的poke bar吃了午饭，我点的small, 董豪large，一共32刀。觉得真的是完美的上午。回到家以后2点多，我开始继续刷题，与昨天比起来明显觉得动力和效率都变高了。

这两天每天在做瑜伽的时候都听Mel Robbins的演讲。她主要说的就是不要过度去想，等待perfect timing，等待motivation，而是去做，保持consistency和momentum。今天又说到每天早上要让自己international的做事，因为每天早上都是为大脑planting seeds。如果unintentional 地去刷社交媒体让自己的注意力分散，在大脑最refresh的时候做这些事情是非常不明智的。等于给大脑set了一个劣等的seed。不知道为什么我特别buy她的演讲，我觉得她真的有启发到我。总结一下这几天她的主要观点：

confident 是需要练习的，你要在没有准备好的时候表现confident，一次一次之后你自然就慢慢积累的这个能力
不要等待motivation，只要去做，不要多想。
对于自己要有high esteem，set boundary，被讨厌的勇气。说出你自己的想法，你的的inner peace 和attention，energey 需要对自己的负责。而别人的感受不是你的课题。
每天早上多做international的事情，冥想，what you want to talk to yourself. 每天想要变成一个怎样的自己。不要去刷社媒。

明天趁着是memorial day sale 我想给刘子叶的宝宝买点礼物，感谢她们在我怀孕期间的礼物。

May 22, 2025 — 自从昨天面试Doordash之后就特别兴奋

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大概是因为店面的感觉挺好的，SQL和case都有准备到，所以面试完我感觉非常激动。觉得这将近一个月的找工作准备没有白费。但是这个毕竟只是第一面，之后也要听recruiter的反馈，而且还有vo 挑战还是很多的。但我不可避免的还是觉得兴奋，晚上也睡的不是很好。我觉得的自己还是要修养心性，不以物喜不以己悲，万事有个平常心。同时也是因为组里面听说Shan也要被调走了，所以觉得很有离开的必要，对于这个找工作的结果又更看重了一些。但是我要告诉自己，这个消息是一个独立的因素，并不会对我准备面试的过程造成什么影响，如果是影响应该也是好的影响，就是我可以更加focus on准备面试了。如果Shan 还在的话我还要考虑他如何看我，考虑我要做好自己的工作，以及他之前和我说过的想一想delivery risk model 和supply scarcity的事情。

但不管怎么样我对于自己这将近一个月的表现，就是在家准备面试的过程非常满意和欣慰。我觉得很多时候能够达到心流的状态。而我的方法论和操作上也都很高效，至少从Doordash的店面结果看。从一亩三分地上找面经，然后再用ChatGPT总结template，生成mock data, 并在notebook上反复操练。这个过程我觉得自己的sql 进步很大，对于case study， experiment的进步也很大。

另外我觉得“如果你用心做一件事，宇宙的力量会联合起来帮你”这一次真的有在我身边发生。我感谢香香能这么适应daycare的生活，让我可以有自己的时间准备面试，另外我本约好的明天和Cindy她们吃饭也自动推迟到六月份，让我可以专注地准备下周的面试。还有今天在LinkedIn上也收到了Apple recruiter的消息，至少可以面试积累经验的。我觉得自己只要能够调整好心态，有个平常心，一些都会朝着好的方向发展的。

这段时间每天听Youtube上的Mel Robins的podcast觉得对我很有用。一切都从做中来，不要多想，去做就可以了。今天的这个日记也是这么回事。时隔大概一个多月，我也该重新写日记了。forege yourself to be consistent.

April 19, 2025 — 今天晚上香香7:30吃奶就睡着了

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今天晚上我修改了论文的最后一稿发给了Sergey。这是学术生涯的最后一篇文章了。很多时候还是会想起在uw 读博士的时光。已经是五年前了，真的有点不真实。可是我的生活也是发上了这么多的转变啊。今天申请了Google和Netflix的一些职位。我对于这次的求职有很大的决心。不管怎么样我都希望自己能奋力一搏。香香白天的时候因为要喝水哭得很伤心，这点一定要和Care giver说明。有时候香香就是会这样，躺在那里哼哼唧唧，但是坐下来喂奶的时候还是要哭，不肯吃，这时候要么她是口渴了，要么她想要换尿不湿。

I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather today by going for a walk in the nearby forest preserve. The sunlight filtered through the canopy above, casting dappled shadows on the forest floor. The air was filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the gentle hum of insects. As I walked, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for the natural world and its ability to bring peace to my mind. I stopped by a small clearing to enjoy a picnic lunch, accompanied by the melodious songs of birds in the trees. Today was a wonderful reminder to make time for nature and to appreciate the simple pleasures it provides.

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I keep thinking that I want to spend more time on things that feel meaningful — time with my family, time creating, time being human.